Speaking English, Roquefort Cheese Log & Cheese Crisps

I've been in France for two years now. I forgot to write my anniversary blog post in February because the days seemed to fly by, full of other things. So, two years of la vie francaise; listening to French radio, muddling my way through chit-chat at the school gates, ordering and arranging fuel for the heater, wood for the fire, navigating bureaucracy and going to the doctor, orthodontist, gynecologist and having mammograms. All in French. Which I speak at about a 2nd grade level when I'm on a roll, all cylinders pumping.

{two years ago}

I dream of being surrounded in English, my American English where 'ride' is innocent and 'rubber' isn't.
I wish I could take a big old bubble bath in my language; hearing it at the grocery store, post office, beach, while driving in my car, just walking the dog. What would it be like? Luxuriant, I think.

Last night I went to a party for foreign nationals, anglophones, expats; choose your favorite word for what we are. We have these get-togethers every once in awhile and it's great to meet new people and talk and laugh and share. It's usually all English, Irish, Australians and only a couple of Americans so I'm still kind of one of a handful. And it's different to be an American versus being British, very different in many ways.

My English, Irish and Canadian friends think I sound like Suki Stackhouse. To my ears, my accent isn't that strong. It's definitely twangy, Texan but it's been tempered and adjusted by five years in Ireland and some effort on my part before that to dial down the Suki. But last night there was a fellow southern American there, with long, lazy vowels, whom I'd never met. She was great. And so similarly American.

Similarly American, even though she's lived here for ten years, is a French citizen, is married to a French man and has children who were born in France.

You could see her 'Americanness' in the way she talked so frankly and openly, laughed loud and full, shared her confidence and positive attitude. And her teeth! It's so funny but that is one of the things that make us noticeable. Is it the flouride in the water?

I liked her so much and feel that she has got it right. She seems to have struck the balance so necessary to have when living far from home with your heart in both places. And she knows what it feels like to be both on the outside and inside of the two. You're standing there, absorbed. But always looking in at the same time, never quite fitting in, a floating ambassador for your country while you try to belong to the new one.

We talked about being surrounded by another language all the time and how you just want to communicate in a real way, your true self, and yet how can a 40 year-old woman fully communicate when she speaks like an eight year-old?

She told me how when she goes home and hears English, twangy, comforting American English, all around her she feels strange and happy and how it sounds so loud. I'm convinced that the loudness thing is two-fold; one, we are kind of loud, it's true, but in a cheerful, exhuberant way usually, and two, it just sounds louder because you can actually understand every bit of it without thinking and reordering and adjusting it in your head.

We all brought something to eat and I signed up for starters. I went straight to my Homesick Texan cookbook and made the Roquefort Cheese Log and the Queso Cookies (my Grandmother called these Cheese Crisps). These two appetizers really shout Texas, loudly!

{my Grandmother's cheese log recipe card}

I thought the Roquefort cheese log was the perfect combination of me and how I feel. It's French cheese, and we actually just went to the Roquefort cheese caves so I'll be sharing that with you soon, but Texased up by being mixed with cream cheese, imagine!, and rolled in pecans.
Plus, you eat it before the meal which is just bizarre to the French who only eat their cheese as the third or fourth course.
I thought it was perfectly perfect--Roquefort, Texas stylee.

The cheese cookies are a Texas staple; just good, cheesy, easy and filling and they smell great while you're cooking them.

{my Grandmother's cheese crisps recipe card}

Roquefort and Pecan Cheese Log
by Lisa Fain, Homesick Texan Cookbook

8 ounces cream cheese
3 ounces Roquefort cheese
2 tablespoons Worcestershire sauce
1 clove garlic, minced
1/4 teaspoon cayenne
1 cup crushed pecans
Crackers, for serving

Mix the cream cheese and Roquefort together. Add in Worcestershire sauce, garlic and cayenne. Place on a sheet of cling-film (plastic wrap) and roll into a sausage, covering as you go with the wrap.
Put it in the fridge to set for at least an hour.
When you're ready to serve; remove it from the fridge, take off plastic wrap and roll it in the pecans.
Serve with crackers.

Queso Cookies
by Lisa Fain, Homesick Texan Cookbook

210 grams/ 1 cup/ 2 sticks unsalted butter, softened
2 cups grated sharp white cheddar cheese
2 cups all purpose flour
1 green chile, seeds and spines removed, finely minced
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon cayenne
1/4 teaspoon cumin

Preheat oven to 350F/190C.
Cover two cookie sheets with parchment paper.

Mix the butter and grated cheese together. In a separate bowl, mix flour, salt, cayenne and cumin.
Add the butter and cheese to flour mixture and blend well. I used my hands.
Finally, add in the minced pepper pieces and blend well.

Form the dough into a ball and pinch off marble-sized bits, roll into circles and put on the parchment paper tray. Continue. When all balls are formed take a small fork and press each marble flat with the fork tines. You'll have cute, latticed cookies.

Bake for 20 minutes. Remove to cool.