Do not attempt to cut onions in half in a dimly lit kitchen, in a hurry, and with a thumb that has a deathwish.
I did the above and now along with learning how to say, 'I cut my thumb with a knife' in French I have won the award for clumsiest person in my family. I've also been told by Mon Mari that yes, he does think I will lose the very tip of mon pouce. Thanks so much for the support and now I know that as with all things I can find a way to blame it on him...no one else will ever want me with a disfigured pouce. Is it just me or does thumb sound really dirty in French?
And so I've found out just how useful this adorable opposing digit really is. The thumb helps one a) tie shoes b) button buttons c) change diapers d) fasten things like bras and trousers d) wash hair and hands e) hitch a lift f) eat with a fork g) tickle someone h) prevent someone from tickling you i) open packages j) braid and put hair into a ponytail and many more that I'm sure to discover.
I can't recommend it.
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| I can't do this, for example |
You poor thing! (And don't we always blame the men. It is, after all, their fault) I hope ton pouce recovers!
ReplyDeleteI think you forgot to mention that you drink in the kitchen.
ReplyDeleteSamantha,
ReplyDeleteSympathy and understanding, thanks! It's just more fun to blame them.
KPQ,
But only in the kitchen....
Don't ever trust a Canadian!
xo
I suppose you expect an Award for Amputating your Thumb Whilst Getting Sloshed in the Kitchen!
ReplyDeleteI'm sure I've got a few of those lying around...
Honestly! The things people will do to get an award!
All the best
Keith
Ouch! I broke my toe sloshed in the pool this summer, does that make you feel any better?
ReplyDeleteDid you have to read Sylvia Plath's poetry for high school? We did, and there is actually a whole poem about this, something along the lines of 'what a thrill, my thumb instead of an onion' and how all the 'soldiers ran out, red coats every one'. I can't remember how it ended, but knowing Sylvie it was probably bloody depressing.
Why not have another drink and see if you can come up with your work of art. In the mean time, keep your stump out of your nose!
Of course I had to go and look it up after that. The poem's called Cut.
ReplyDeleteThere's a copy here. http://www.sylviaplathforum.com/thread2.html
Talk about full on. When you cut your thumb and end up talking about the KKK, you know it's not going to end well. More wine might have helped.
Keith,
ReplyDeleteYes I will do just about anything for one of your awards, it's true!
Kirsty,
What does it say about me if I tell you I enjoyed the depressingness of Sylvia Plath? The Bell Jar made an enormous impression on me in college.
And thanks a lot Mme Canadienne for making everyone 'think' I drink while cooking and that said drinking had anything to do with the injury I sustained. I'll get you yet...
aidan x
To add to our ever growing list of things we have in common:
ReplyDelete1. accident proneness
2. drinking in the kitchen
sara,
ReplyDeletei'm so happy to hear from you. was it so much fun to speak english all the time?
xo